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# YouTube Ep 2 Script

In the last video I have a really abrupt and random overview of who I am ... or something like that ...

In this video we'll cover how I found friends on the internet and even managed to get a few of them to help me.

# Friend Count ...

Ami, Alicia, Caleb, Brady, Ross ... Erica ... Edward ...

ok, so only two of those are people that I met entirely online ...

three of them I met through the coding bootcamp I got kicked out of ...

and two of them are from my past lives as a either a youthful monkey on a leash, or an frustrated ball of inebriation ...

Wait!!! There's one more!!! Who met me as a youthful bundle of chaos exploring the boundaries of my captivity.

Eight!! But I tell you what ... I'd do damn near anything for those eight wondeful people who have made my life worth living until now, by at least not letting me lose complete hope!!!

Well, almost anything ... I usually need a good night's rest first ... problems of the privileged you might say ...

Ahh, yes ... but how in the world... OMG NINE!!!

How could I forget the Grayt Kozmik Yak who started it all -- who helped me first build these wings upon which I fly --- whose supple ... ok, for the sake of propriety I will digress ...

# It all started in a hole in the wall ...

I asked him if he could teach me how to code ... he said he could ... but that was a lie ... or rather ... no one can teach you how to code, you have to teach yourself -- that's the real trick no one ever tells you ...

If you don't want to learn, it's never going to happen. And learning means seaching and reading and searching and reading ... trying, watching things break ... wanting to throw your computer across the room ... but realizing then you'll really have broken the damn thing, so that's not an option ...

What he did provide was someone to help me find the answers ... when I was frustrated, he helped me search for the solutions ...

And in return, I treated him with as much kindness and compassion as I could muster given my inherently savage genetics ... that was a joke; just not a funny one ...

Anywho, I was now running Linux as my main operating system ... muahaha, the matrix is MINE!!!!!

Ok,not really, I still have SO far to go ...

And so many other friends to meet ...

# Skill share

I mean, that's the deal, find what you like doing first !

Find a way to connect with people on a real human level.

Connect with yourself on a real, authentic human level ~ and I highly suggest being able to be a bit goofy ...

I've found that it helps break down the rigid walls society has demanded we build to protect ourselves from each other ...

Everyone I've stayed friends with, it's only because we saw each other as people with hopes, dreams, fears and obstacles first!!

And then we affirmed each others perspective, and helped each other a way through, or a way beyond, whatever impediments might be weighing us down in the moments we aren't laughing joking and uplifting each other.

Dassit!!

And we shared our skillsets and resources so as to not let anyone drown in the depths of anxiety or depression.

Seriously, OMG TEN -- seriously, she has been such a blessing -- to watch her grow, to have helped -- to see her art and smile flourish -- to see her safe and happy gives me hope that I can find such a place for myself ❤️

YAY!!!

# Black & Brown Founders

I really can't advise people be as belligerent and brash as I have been.

It definitely can cause problems ... nonetheless, I did go out in search of organizations who I thought my empathize with my aspirations and help me in meaningful ways ...

And I'm gonna be straight-up -- not all skinfolk are kinfolk - you best believe that!!!

Aniya from Black and Brown founders, she has been a guide and a friend though.

Due to a previous failure, I was able to fork out the funds to participate in their Bootstrapping Bootcamp and it was just cool to learn from folks who had already been through the ringer, and walked some of the tech halls I sought to ... walk myself ... let's just go with that story for now 😃

The honest idea is just to learn from their energy, to hear their stories -- and not remember them all exactly, not learn anything specific -- but to re-affirm that my dreams and my skills were real and valuable.

While gathering resources I could return to later as needed. Resources I could trust had been collected through experiences that I could relate to.

I'm not white ... so no one is going to fund my work unless I give them my everylasting praise, or provide a project that is self-sustaining and doesn't need their support anyways ...

So what did I really get out of Black & Brown Founders -- the confidence the colonized world doesn't want any of use to have, no matter who we are.

(White supremacy is born of insecurity, but that's another video for WAY down the line!)

# Teaching English ...

Before I dropped out of University I had taken 3 of the 4 classes need to get my Teaching English as a Second Language certificate.

And I didn't have a degree ... and I was struggling -- this was Summer of 2019 ...

Though I'd joined a few Facebook pages for Expats and someone posted an ad looking for English teachers on one ...

People had posted these ads before ... but again, I'm brown and without a college degree, no one is going to give me the time of day ... I tried and that is the experience I've had. Seriously, reply, no response - persist and apply ... no response ... just silence, like I'd never even existed in the first place ...

but lo and behold ... the poster responded -- and moreover, an interview was schedule for the next week!

OMG OMG OMG ... I mean, I still had to pass the interview ... but like ... I had a chance at least ...

I'd tried to get my own students earlier that summer, but no one wanted to pay, and I didn't have sustained access to the communities that would ... I was in a desperate situation ... and this opportunity could not have come at a better time.

The interview went well, and I was told that I would get a response later that evening ... another interview needed to be conducted.

Sadly, the other person got the jump, but in a moment of grace, I was told I'd get sent paperwork to work for them anyways ...

And the next week I got my first two students!!!! Hallelujah!!!!

Y'all, I've been riding that wave ever since ~ and am still working with the same 5 out of my first 6 students!!!

Y'all !!! How did I do it?

I found myself first, I was honest with myself second, and I walked the fine line between adhering to myself, while recognizing that others are enduring very similiar struggles to surive while identifying and protecting the truest parts of their selves.

For the FIRST time in my life, I was able to comfortably pay my bills; practically all of them -- rent, food and health insurance!!

I paid for Black & Brown Founders PURELY on the hope that it would help me get to this, and indirectly it did.

Follow your intuition ... which is a fine line to walk as well ...

We'll perhaps talk about this elsewhere as well; that has definitely been something that has guided me, my gut/intuition ...

And now I was able to really focus on my personal growth, so I took another step ...

# Enter Outco

I'm a self-taught developer; and while your average white self-taught is able to call themselves a developer, us non-white-males know that if we ever call our selves a straight-up dev, and get caught not knowing everything, our reputation is ruined ... so I don't play that game.

Though upon hearing of Outco (which I found through following folk on Twitter who talk about diversity in tech ...) ...

I found out that they had a free-upfront-tier ... And I applied; and I was accepted ...

The course met four nights per week for five weeks.

Though I got SUPER lucky, because my cohort had Thankstaking, Christmas AND New Years to work around ...

Y'all, I need y'all to be patient with yourselves -- job one -- allow your self time and space to process all that you are, have been and hope to be.

Allow yourself the space and time to take those steps in a manner that is respectful to you.

Outco is run by a Black man who is culturally centered, cares and is charismatic -- I met him once when he spoke to our cohort; and it happened to be the one time I was holding a guitar during class ...

Beyond my person luck in this moment, I would like to take a moment to point out -- I have only found authentic acceptance in organizations run by other dark-skinned individuals -- There is a book called Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Era of the Quickfix that talks about how organizations are really just reflections of their leadership ...

And it is for this reason, that I personally, sought out empathetic people who live lives that I felt I could relate to; in the hopes that they would be able to relate to me.

Outco was super great because we went over all of the computer basics needed to pass the technical aspects of tech interviews; while practicing interviews themself!!

Granted, I'm not exactly hankering to work for anyone at the moment; again, what did I gain here??

CONFIDENCE!!!

Yes, I was unabashedly myself --- and again, I do not entirely recommend anyone do so until they have truly grappled with the consequences of what can happen if you are yourself without restraint in a world that wants to box you up in tidy colonial / commercial narratives ...

YES, be YOU!! but make sure you've taken the time to process all the parts of yourself -- I think that's it -- when you truly embrace yourself you respect that there are parts of you which still need to grow

And that that process of growth is never-ending -- there is no destination per se -- that humility to acknowledge that you can make mistaktes --- the ability to self-effacing before those mistakes -- truly such a place of heart, mind and spirit will help others WANT to work with you, and be able to work with you.

Alright, this seems like a good place to end this episode ...

As it brings us practically up to our position !!!

In the next video we'll talk about all of the things that go into making a product successful; or at least giving it the chance to be successful.

Because you can't just make a product and get funded unless your white, or a token who graduated from a super classy school.

So we'll discuss how you too can get around these obstacles using open-source tools.